Focusing on the person and their needs
Learning that a loved one has a neurocognitive disorder (NCD) can be very unsettling. After the initial shock, many questions arise and you don’t always know how to help. You wonder what to say, what to do and how to reassure them.
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I sometimes feel that I’m not saying or doing the right thing because my words or actions can provoke irritability or anger in my loved one.
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I don’t understand why someone would decide they want to go home when they’ve been living here in the residence for several months?
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Why does she push me away when I try to wash her face or clean a stain on her clothes?
Individuals living with NCD may have unpredictable or even aggressive reactions. This can stem from a variety of factors, including hunger, thirst, the need to go to the bathroom, physical pain, feeling unsafe, not understanding what is happening, etc. These are known as “unmet needs.” The person-centred approach is based on understanding the individual and addressing such needs.
So, what do I do?
Respect their personal space
Your loved one may be surprised when you try to provide hygiene care without first asking. You would be too, wouldn’t you? When it’s time for a bath, for instance, they may get agitated and refuse to cooperate. So it’s important to explain each step of what you’re doing so they’re not caught off-guard and feel uncomfortable.
Create a sense of comfort and security
A nervous and confused resident in a long-term care facility wants to go home and prepare a meal for her husband. But her husband has passed away. Rather than refocusing the person on reality, you could ask questions on another subject and gently lead her back to a place where she can feel safe.
Encourage independence
After your meal together, you want to guide your loved one back to his room, knowing that he’ll likely fall asleep at the table. Twice you say it’s time to go, but he gets angry. What if he simply wants you to respect his decision to remain seated?